A couple of years ago I knew this girl. She was quiet and shy and she worried too much about what the rest of the world thought of her. She was a girl who more often than not, struggled to step too far out of the box without second guessing herself. Until one day, something happened and all of that changed.
This girl, she developed Chronic Fatigue and her life was completely turned upside down. She was forced to step outside of the box and she had no choice but to live differently to the rest of the world. She developed numerous food sensitivities and she began to struggle with usual everyday activities that she had once taken for granted.
Against all odds though, this girl stood tall. She made the choice to turn something that could have so easily been such a big negative, into an even bigger positive and she hasn’t looked back since.
It didn’t happen overnight, but eventually she learnt to step out from underneath that rock that she had been living under for the past two years and she began to look at the world differently. She regained her confidence and she began to look life in the face again.
Bravely, fearlessly and hopefully, she finally re-entered the real world, but not the world that she was familiar with; a world that was completely different to the one she once knew.
She started trusting herself enough to take baby steps forward and in time, she no longer found herself falling backwards again. She started learning and she started asking questions. She started getting to know herself again and she started liking who that person was. She stopped caring so much about what the rest of the world thought of her and she started caring more about what she thought of herself.
The quiet, shy girl who would never speak out of turn, started to speak up for herself. The girl who never wanted to look out of place and who would sit quietly instead of catching peoples eye, showed up to a Chinese restaraunt with an entire hot chook, a fresh salad and a water bottle and instead of going home hungry because she couldn’t eat the food they were serving, she proudly made her own dinner for everyone to see.
The girl who would have once sat quietly in her little summer dress in minus degree weather just so people wouldn’t stare, took out her blanket from the car and walked around the restaraunt like a bug in a rug and instead of freezing her little bum off, she was as warm as toast as she smiled politely at the people who stared.
Before all of this, had you asked that girl who she was two years ago, she would have had absolutely no idea what to tell you.
Now though, I think she’s finally starting to get an idea.
If you asked her would she do it all over again, if she had a choice; whether you believe it or not, the answer would easily be a yes. Maybe not in a heartbeat, but to tell you the truth, she wouldn’t change a thing.
Everything happens for a reason and all of those little things that happened leading up to this, has lead me to where I am today and where I am today, is exactly where I am meant to be. It is exciting and new and promising and I can honestly say without hesitiation, that I have absolutely no regrets.
Everything that has happened from the start of my life until now, has built me into the person that I am today. A girl who is nowhere near perfect and who has more flaws than she can count, but who is learning to love those flaws and imperfections as though they were sprinkles on a cupcake. A girl who is working towards changing the things that she can and who is learning to accept those things that she can’t. A girl who despite all odds, has stopped second guessing herself and who is trusting the person she is. A girl who has started to smile again.
A girl who is so much stronger than she ever knew she could be. A girl who is happier than she can ever remember and who has so much more to offer life than she ever thought possible. A girl who is finally starting to find her place in the world and who couldn’t be more content.