For the longest time, less than unfortunate life circumstances have forced me to take somewhat of a backseat when it comes to participating in day to day activities. So much so that without even realising, much to my disappointment, my daily response to anything and everything had gone from a ‘yes, maybe’ to a universal ‘no’ almost overnight.
Catching up with old friends, going out to meet new friends, lunch dates, movie dates, spontaneous late nights out, beach walks, friendly phone calls, shopping trips, physical activities and more often than not, even 99.99% of non physical activities. Basically, you name it, I couldn’t participate and as heartbreaking as it was, it happened so frequently that eventually it just became the norm. Eventually those heartbreakingly disappointing words would escape my mouth without so much as a second thought.
Slowly but surely however, as my body became stronger I began to question that universal response and every now and again I found myself taking a leap of faith and once in a blue moon, trusting my body enough to say yes. A leap of faith that thankfully as time went by, eventually began to pay off.
Slowly but surely that yes became a more frequent occurrence until eventually, it no longer required a blue moon. Eventually, somewhere along the way at a point that I don’t actually recall, that universal response had changed completely. Somewhere along the way without even realising, I had begun to not only happily respond with a ‘yes’ to almost anything and everything, but I was now doing so without constantly second guessing myself. I was now finally able to begin participating in life again and it was happening with an overwhelming sense of ease.
Somewhere along the way, that girl who had spent far too long sitting on the sidelines of life whilst constantly explaining her limitations, had almost magically transformed into a girl who was slowly but surely remaking herself a very, very long list of firsts.
Her very first walk, her very first flight of stairs, her very first doctor’s graduation, her very first real throw, her very first proper swing, her very first walk along the beach, her very first little run, her very first tennis match, her very first bowling game and quite possibly her favourite one yet; her very first sign that finally, the long awaited light at the end of the tunnel was now closer than ever before.
Slowly but surely she had transformed herself into a girl who was finally making her way back out into the world. A blonde haired, hazel eyed, twenty-two year old girl with a brand new lease on life. A girl with an ever-growing smile spread across her face, a newly discovered desire for adventure and the confidence to finally take those first few baby steps out of her comfort zone and into the big wide world; a world that for the past three years she has been dying to explore.