While most people in life seem to have things somewhat backwards in my opinion, choosing to follow the beliefs in their head rather than the desires of their heart, I have always remained quite the opposite.
For as long as I can remember I have been the girl who has relentlessly followed her heart, regardless of the circumstance and for the most part, the outcome has remained in my favour. This time around however, things appear to be entirely different.
I suppose you could say that ironically enough, life has thrown me the perfect curve ball and given that they are an obvious weakness of mine, not only am I currently struggling to read the curve, but I am struggling to remain patient.
Compliments of a few rather large life lessons, I am beginning to think that perhaps in this instance my head truly does know best and for the sake of the bigger picture, perhaps temporarily disregarding the desires of my heart will reap bigger rewards than that of the alternative. Although as I am sure you are already aware, theory and practice are two very, very different things; yet another little life lesson which coincidentally enough, I am only just beginning to learn.
To put it simply, trying to explain a logical decision of that magnitude to an already fragile heart is proving to be slightly difficult to say the least and attempting to embrace the process is not always as easy as it may first seem.
At the end of the day, how do you choose to follow the path which you believe to be the most logical, when matters of the heart constantly defy all logic?
How do you put aside the strongest of emotions and continue to move forward, simply because the distant yet convincing voice inside your head tells you to do so?
How do you attempt to trust your instincts when in doing just that, you are consequently contradicting everything you have ever known?
How do you try and figure out just what it is that you actually want in this wild and crazy world when even your deepest desires appear to have ravelled themselves into an oversized ball of confusion, changing almost as rapidly as the numbers on the clock?
The answer; you don’t figure it all out or at least not in the beginning. You simply do your best to embrace the roller coaster and attempt to sort through that big ball of confusion, one varying possibility at a time; hoping that at some point, whilst figuring out just what it is that you don’t want, you eventually begin to realise just what it is that you do want.
After all at the end of the day, when it comes to matters of the heart we never really have quite as much control as we may choose to believe and despite our very best efforts, some things in this world are completely out of our control and ironically enough, I believe that love and the way in which it finds us, is one of those very things.