After yet another crazy, magical, stressful, exciting, devastating, amazing, heartbreaking, surprising, frustrating, joyful, challenging and somewhat indescribable three hundred and sixty-five days, the defining lesson throughout is ironically enough, one that comes as no real surprise at all.

Yet another three hundred and sixty-five days exploring the ins and outs of this wild and crazy world and so far, this is what I have come to know;

Nothing in life ever happens the way in which we imagine it will. Not a single thing in this world is ever completely immortal to change and whilst that is obviously something that I was already quite aware of, this past year has made that more apparent than ever before.

Life truly is unexpected. It’s magical, it’s mysterious and at times it is often overwhelmingly confusing and despite how much time we may waste trying to figure it all out, I honestly don’t think that we ever truly will.

As much as we may choose to believe otherwise, life was not made to be mastered. It was made to be lived and I am beginning to think that there is some sort of comfort to be found in that. In fact, perhaps that is where the ultimate answer lies; not in ever actually finding an answer as such, but in choosing to throw caution to the wind and completely disregard the question. Choosing to embrace the mystery of life and instead, just simply begin to live.

At the end of the day, nothing in life is permanent. The world is ever changing, as are we and perhaps that is the lesson in all of this. Perhaps above all else, that’s what I’ve learnt this year.

Along with the realisation that I am in fact both braver and stronger than I could have ever possibly imagined, there are a few other things that I have realised along the way. Things that I am certain I will carry with me from now, until forever.

1. Don’t ever get too comfortable with the way of the world, that’s when it will decide to surprise you.

2. Don’t become too steadfast in your ways, forcing you to lose the ability to sway with the breeze.

3. Don’t be afraid to take a deep breath every once in a while and step outside of our comfort zone. It might just allow the wind to carry you towards the kind of adventure that you never could have imagined.

4. Don’t be afraid to open your eyes wider than ever before and explore the world with a new sense of appreciation; a new desire to seek beauty in the simplest of things.

5. Don’t be afraid to allow life to work it’s magic in the most unexpected of ways, sometimes that is exactly what we need.

Sometimes without ever quite realising it ourselves, we need to be thrown back out into the deep end, simply to remind us that we do in fact know how to swim and while the unknown can certainly be frightening at times, with the right perspective it can also be incredibly beautiful. So beautiful in fact that eventually, we begin to wonder just what it was that we were ever so afraid of.

Dearest 2013; whilst you may not have quite turned out to be everything that I had first hoped, I am choosing to believe that you were instead, everything that I never knew I needed.

Whilst I would be lying if I said the endless sea of breathtakingly beautiful gifts wouldn’t always remain a favourite aspect of Christmas, at some point you reach an age where that is no longer the highlight. An age where although each and every one of those gifts still has the same distinct ability to overwhelm you with happiness, you soon realise that it is now with the company of loved ones where your true happiness lies and coincidentally enough, I think I may have just reached that very age.

At just twenty-two years young it would seem that whether I was quite ready to or not, I have indeed reached that point. A point where the same things that once made me smile all of those years ago, aren’t necessarily the very same things that continue to make me smile now and whilst there will always be definite similarities amongst our Christmas celebrations, suddenly it’s the differences that are beginning to shine through.

Suddenly it’s no longer the Christmas lights themselves that seem the most beautiful of all, but rather the people who I am lucky enough to be sharing that beauty with.

Suddenly it’s no longer the gifts I am receiving that put the brightest of smiles on my already happy face, but rather the selfless gesture of love and the thought that is behind them.

Suddenly it’s no longer the endless amounts of food that fill the beautifully decorated tables, but rather the people filling the seats around me who I am lucky enough to be sharing that food with.

Suddenly Christmas no longer becomes a time to simply appreciate all things shiny and festive, but rather a time to appreciate life in general and all of the beautiful people who I am blessed to share that life with.

Suddenly Christmas is no longer just about the colours red and green, but the countless other colours that are brought into my life simply by those around me. Colours that I would not be able to create without the perfect combination of personalities and while it may have taken me a little longer than most to fully appreciate the importance of this, I am proud to say that my level of appreciation has now reached an all time high and because of that, Christmas will never be the same again.

Instead, it will be brighter than ever before and from now on, it won’t just be shining with the colours of red and green.

It should come as no surprise to hear that December is and always has been my absolute favourite month of the year, for quite possibly as long as I can remember. The beautiful decorations, the pretty coloured lights, the wonderful festive food, the countless amazing presents and of course as you may well know, my favourite of all favourites; the famous Christmas cheer.

I suppose you could say that everything about it just seems to make me ridiculously happy and considering that it always has, I was under the naïve assumption that for that very reason, everything about it always would. This year however, I am slightly ashamed to admit that so far, it is beginning to appear as though perhaps I was wrong.

Whilst of course deep down, I am still quietly in love with all things festive, it would seem that recent events have somewhat stolen my Christmas cheer and despite my best efforts, it is taking a little longer than hoped for that same bright spark to happily reappear. In fact, I am currently considering the likelihood that all festive emotions have vacated for the season, leaving in their place a rather disappointing sense of indifference that to be quite honest, I would happily swap for a house filled with reindeer and elves.

Considering that it is now just two days until Christmas however, a quick trip to the North Pole is obviously out of the question which now means unfortunately, I am going to be forced to adopt a healthy Christmas cheer without the help of a team full of elves and a small reindeer family. A task which could easily be considered impossible, except of course for the little secret weapon that I have cleverly kept hidden up my sleeve; Mumma.

Just between you and me, she is basically the real life Mrs Claus in disguise. So much so in fact, that with her constant Christmas cheer and unconditional love, you can’t help but feel festive. Well, that and the fact that she is happily helping me bake up a storm today and as you are all well aware, food is without a doubt the quickest way to my heart.

Needless to say, Christmas food is no exception and so just like that, we are happily headed back down the path towards endless Christmas cheer and I could not be more pleased.

It’s funny how all of a sudden, all of those songs that we were certain we knew the meaning to can seem to have changed completely almost overnight. How each and every word that we once believed resonated, can suddenly mean something entirely different to what it had before and for that one single, defining moment, it’s as though we are hearing a completely different song for the very first time.

Somehow, time seems to stand still and all of a sudden we become more aware than ever before that life circumstances truly have altered our perspective and more often than not, it happens in the depths of a moment that we were least expecting. A moment when perhaps for the first time in what feels like an eternity, we were finally beginning to feel as though our life was returning to some form of normality and in the blink of an eye, we are instead reminded just how much it has changed.

All of a sudden those beautiful lyrics that had once made us smile, instantly bring us to the point of tears and those deep and mysterious words of heartbreak that had previously caused confusion are now beginning to make more sense than ever before. Suddenly, just like that, we become painfully aware of just how much our view on the world has changed and more often than not, the realisations that come alongside that tend to be a little too much to handle in just three short minutes of a breathtakingly beautiful melody.

Luckily though, along with the tears often comes a newfound sense of clarity and an overwhelming feeling of hope that despite the current circumstances, reminds us that perhaps Charlie Chaplin was right; nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles. So whilst we may well have been temporarily reminded that our perspective on the world has indeed changed rather slightly, there is nothing to say that it won’t then change again. Ironically, leading us back to the very point where all of this first began.

So for now, despite all of the tears and the heartache, I have decided that instead of fighting the inevitable I am going to try and embrace it. I am going to turn the music up just that little bit louder, brave through the lyrics, breathe through the melody and trust in the process and hopefully for the most part, continue to enjoy the ride because at the end of the day, life stops for no one and whilst I am well aware that this is going to be in no way easy, at some point I am certain that it will all have been worth it.

They say that it’s quite often not until we are forced to face some of our most difficult days, that we become aware of who our true friends really are and whilst there may well be times when we are left disappointed by the lack of support surrounding us, there are also times when we are surprised in the best way possible. Times when the unconditional support from others has overwhelmed us, often to the point of tears and we are left with a feeling of love so strong that despite our current circumstances, our broken heart slowly begins to mend.

Luckily for me, I am pleased to say that this is without a doubt one of those very times and as I lay outside watching the sunset slowly fade away into the night sky, my face is no longer filled with tears like the days before. Instead, not only is my heavy heart feeling just that little bit lighter, but I am slowly beginning to smile again and I owe that smile to all of the countless beautiful people who I have been blessed to have in my life.

Now more than ever, at a time when I was least expecting to, I can safely say that I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. The luckiest girl in the world who not only has enough beautiful flowers to open her very own florist, but who truly does have the most wonderful friends that any girl could ever ask for. Friends who have not only filled her heart back up with love, but who have reminded her that regardless of how all of this may turn out; she will always be loved, she will always be spoilt and above all, she will always, always have people she can count on and right now, that is more than she ever could have hoped for.

If you were to ask a group of people to think back to one single, exact moment when they were certain their heart was breaking, chances are they would struggle to remember. I however, am still struggling to forget.

12:52am; December 10th, 2013.

A single moment in time that will remain imprinted in my memory forever and while it may not have been the first time my heart has broken nor will it be the last, it has been without a doubt one of the hardest to handle.

Imagine for a moment having spent five years living in an absolute dream of a fairy-tale with the most amazing boy you have ever met and then one day, you blink and it all changes. One day you wake up to find that the Castle has fallen and the Kingdom that you so carefully built together has crumbled to the ground and despite your best efforts at frantically trying to forage through the rubble, all that is left to do is walk away. Walk away with your head held high in hopes of someday, rebuilding a new Castle with that very same Prince. A breathtakingly beautiful Castle in a brand new Kingdom that is hopefully, slightly stronger than the one before.

Unfortunately though, Castle construction is on hold for now and so it is back to taking things one step at a time. One step at a time while I find my way around a Kingdom that to be quite honest, I never in a million years expected to revisit and yet here I am; still holding on to the hope that despite my current broken heart, everything truly does happen for a reason.

As many of you are probably already aware, I am not exactly the easiest person in the world to successfully surprise and despite my ever-growing love for all things mysterious, I have a terrible habit of making surprise missions rather difficult to say the least.

I suppose you could say that the ‘terms and conditions’ of a surprise are slightly lost on me and the general consensus that endless hints are in fact not complimentary, is a concept that I have been known to struggle with from time to time.

Last night however, all of that changed.

For quite possibly the first time in history, despite my very best efforts at playing detective, it seemed as though my amazingly handsome boyfriend had managed to successfully surprise me in a way that I had never before expected.

There were of course still the very same countless questions asked on my behalf, sneakily trying to figure it all out. However those questions were quickly followed by a long list of ‘slightly false’ answers and unfortunately, as the day dragged on I still had absolutely no idea what to expect. The only thing that I was allowed to know for certain was luckily, one of the most important things of all; what exactly was a girl to wear to an event that she was completely oblivious to?

The answer, according to my trustworthy sources was a pretty little laced maxi dress teamed with my favourite pair of pastel wedges. Apparently, it would be perfectly suited. Perfectly suited for what however, I still wasn’t quite sure. All that I was sure of at this point was that the likelihood of being asked to jump out of a plane was now slim to none.

Fast forward a few hours though and suddenly, it all made perfect sense…

The secrets, the comfortable maxi dress and the fact that for quite possibly the first time ever, he was the one insisting that Mumma tag along for the ride; it could only mean one thing.

X factor!

As luck would have it, it just so happened that the final five X Factor contestants were performing Live at the Gold Coast, on the very same Saturday night that Mumma and I had gone to visit and luckily for us, my wonderful boyfriend had decided to surprise us with tickets. A surprise that given our mutual love of the handsome Taylor Henderson and the adorable Jai Waetford, we were absolutely thrilled with.

All celebrity crushes aside however, my absolute favourite part; even more so than the fact that Taylor Henderson was now standing just metres away from me, was the fact that he finally understood the value of a gesture. Finally, that boy of mine understood what I had been saying for all of this time and to be perfectly honest, that alone was enough to make me the happiest girl in the room that night.